Wow, Everyone’s Flirting With Ally

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00:00 (upbeat music)

00:03 – For book club my choice is this,

00:05 it’s a book about barbecuing.

00:07 It’s wonderful.

00:07 – Sup guys!

00:08 – [Guys] Hey!

00:09 – Whoa another cool shirt Ally!

00:11 – [Ally] Oh yeah thoughts and prayers

00:12 I saw ’em last night, it was amazing.

00:14 – A concert oh really gosh you sure don’t seem like someone who’d be into good music.

00:18 – [Ally] Oh! Yeah you know me I just listen to Green Day on repeat.

00:21 (laughing)

00:22 – Yeah that’s Ally.

00:23 (sighing)

00:30 – It’s just.

00:32 God it’s so dumb.

00:34 I don’t even know why I care.

00:38 (groaning)

00:41 – Katie?

00:42 – I’m fine!

00:43 – Okay good.

00:44 – Oh really?

00:45 Because it sounded like you were pretending to care about me for a second there.

00:49 – No, not this, we’re not doing this again.

00:51 – You boys.

00:53 – We’re not boys.

00:54 – Used to be so into me.

00:56 Then Ally [simple_tooltip content=’show or show up: to arrive in a place where people are expecting you
예) We didn’t think Austin would show.’]show up[/simple_tooltip], and it’s like Katie?

00:59 Katie Who?

00:59 – No, we were never into you.

01:01 – Oh stop lying!

01:03 You boys.

01:05 – We’re men!

01:06 – Used to [simple_tooltip content=’is all over someone: was really flirting with someone’]be all over me[/simple_tooltip].

01:07 Night and day you were sending me little sext messages, putting little pictures of me in lockets around your necks.

01:15 – I’ve never owned a [simple_tooltip content=’a piece of jewelry that consists of a very small case that you wear round your neck on a chain. People often keep a photograph of someone who they love inside a locket.’]locket[/simple_tooltip].

01:15 – Kissing them whenever you get lonely.

01:17 – What the hell are you talking about?

01:19 – Like you’re [simple_tooltip content=’to look at someone or something with great pleasure
예) I saw him – he was literally drooling over her!’]drooling[/simple_tooltip] over her the second she comes in.

01:22 – We’re not.

01:23 – What is it about her?

01:24 Her beautiful blonde hair?

01:25 – Immediately wrong.

01:26 – Curled to perfection.

01:28 – Okay that’s totally not true.

01:29 – All they do is [simple_tooltip content=’to behave towards someone in a way that shows your sexual or romantic interest in them
예) He was really cute, so I flirted with him.’]flirt[/simple_tooltip] with you.

01:31 Raphael with that t-shirt [simple_tooltip content=’something nice that you say to praise someone
예) It is a compliment to be compared to her.

01:33 Grant with that sexy wink.

01:35 God open your eyes.

01:37 – That’s not flirting, that’s just being nice.

01:40 I’m nice to all my friends.

01:41 – Oh, shut up.

01:43 And Zack you drive Ally home like every night

01:47 and you don’t even [simple_tooltip content=’an effort to do something
예) one last desperate attempt’]attempt[/simple_tooltip] to hide it from me anymore.

01:50 – Why would I have to hide it at all?

01:51 I mean she lives two blocks away from me

01:52 and she doesn’t have a car.

01:54 – Wow, pretty [simple_tooltip content=’something that is convenient gives someone an advantage or opportunity, often in a way that is slightly dishonest
예) a convenient excuse’]convenient[/simple_tooltip] huh?

01:55 Weird that none of you ever drove me home.

01:58 But I guess I’m no Ally.

01:59 – Katie there was never any need, you have a car,

02:01 you can drive yourself.

02:02 – What is it about her?

02:04 Is she cooler than your wife Trav?

02:06 – No.

02:07 – Raph is her body more bangin’ than your fiancee’s?

02:09 – Don’t say banging.

02:10 – Zack and Grant is she better able to

02:11 hang with the boys than your long-term girlfriends?

02:15 – You clearly know that we’re all in relationships.

02:17 We’re not flirting.

02:19 – Yeah Katie stop, you’ve all met my girlfriend.

02:21 There’s never been anything flirty between any of us ever, we’re just friends.

02:26 – Wow I did not expect you to be such a stupid idiot.

02:30 – [Guys] Whoa, hey.

02:31 – They’re men!

02:32 Or should I say, boys?

02:34 – No.

02:35 – Oh these boys just care about one thing.

02:38 And it ain’t friendship, get the picture.

02:40 – We’re not.

02:41 – It’s rock hard pussy.

02:43 – [Guys] What?

02:44 – What are you talking about?

02:45 – Ally listen to me, all these boys care about is that you’re a woman.

02:49 You’re just a hot little piece of ass to them.

02:52 – Okay you’re being [simple_tooltip content=’silly or unreasonable and deserving to be laughed at
예) a ridiculous idea’]ridiculous[/simple_tooltip].

02:54 – Oh they just walk around with their tiny little brains inside of their even tinier little penises.

03:01 – That makes no sense.

03:03 – Ally.

03:04 Ally, Ally, Ally.

03:05 I was just like you once.

03:07 I used to be the belle of the ball.

03:10 Well guess what baby, beauty [simple_tooltip content=’if something fades, it gradually becomes less clear or noticeable until it finally disappears
예) Marie’s smile slowly faded.’]fades[/simple_tooltip].

03:12 – What are you talking about?

03:15 That was like two months ago, you look exactly the same.

03:18 (sniffling)

03:20 – You know what Ally?

03:22 You win!

03:23 Take good care of my boys.

03:26 I hope you’re all very happy.

03:28 (slapping noise)

03:30 Good bye forever.

03:34 – [Guys] Ohh!

03:37 – Why wouldn’t you throw them away?

03:39 Or wash them?

03:40 – You’re not supposed to wash jeans you put them in the freezer!

03:44 Hi it’s Katie Marovitch from College Humor

03:46 if you want to subscribe click over here

03:48 and for more fun stuff click over here.

03:50 And if you want access to College Humor’s secret site make sure you send your social security number,

03:56 your credit card information and your mother’s maiden name in a private message to me.[/vc_column_text][vc_separator][vc_column_text]


  1. Do you enjoy reading?
  2. Do you have a book you want to share?
  3. Can you describe what flirting is in your culture? How do you call it?
  4. What’s the difference between going out with someone and flirting with someone?
  5. What’s the problem with Katie?
  6. What would you do if someone around you acts like Katie?
  7. What does it imply when Katie calls the men as ‘boys’?



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